THAT'S MY FREEDOM, NOT YOURS: Does anyone else find it ironic that Osama bin Laden, who sheltered his radical fundamentalist al-Qaida terrorist organization behind a Taliban government among the most repressive in history, vows that he is "sworn to only live free" in the latest tape he has managed to get smuggled out of his hidey-hole? You can pick whatever layer of irony you want there -- but if you should happen to meet Osama, better not voice it.
COLD MEDAL PERFORMANCE: Our favorite piece of insightful Olympic analysis came Tuesday when NBC's Today show anchors were discussing a disastrous night for ice dancing competitors. It went something like this:
Katie Couric to Matt Lauer: "There has to be some reason all those ice dancers keep falling."
Lauer to Couric: "Ice is slippery."
Couric: "I thought it might be something more complicated than that."
Not particularly deep, but you gotta admit it's accurate.
SPORTS HANGOVER: OK, we confess, we took a break from all that Olympics watching -- there are only so many triple Lutz-double toe combinations and ends of curling you can watch in a given day -- and tuned in to the Daytona 500 last Sunday in time to watch Tony Stewart suddenly veer into Matt Kenseth at 190 mph and send him spinning across the infield, back up across the track through traffic and into the wall. Being issues-oriented, we got to wondering whether that's "just racin'" or whether somebody doing that sort of thing might be flirting with a potential vehicular manslaughter charge.
Yeah, that'll happen -- about the same time NASCAR starts making its drivers signal left turns.
QUAIL, QUAIL, DUCK: Here's a parting shot: Why not just put Dick Cheney in charge of port security?