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Dear Ann Landers: I am fuming after reading the letter from "Anonymous Cashier in Anytown, USA." She laid out a list of nine things customers should do while in line at a retail store. How dare she tell me to have my money ready, what to say and what to do! Like most everyone in retail, she has her priorities mixed up. I'm the customer. If it weren't for me, she wouldn't have a job. Let me, the customer, give you, the clerk, a few tips for a speedier checkout:

Open another check-stand when the store is busy. I cannot count the number of times I've stood in line at the supermarket in one open line, while nine others were empty.

Learn how to bag groceries properly. Mine always fall out of the plastic or paper sack as soon as I pick it up.

And last, I'm not supposed to say, "Thank you," and you're not supposed to say, "You're welcome." It should be the other way around. You should say, "Thank you," -- and I'll say, "You're welcome." The customer is still king where I come from.

-- Deep in the Heart of Texas
Dear Texas Customer: A surprising number of readers had some choice words for Anonymous Cashier. Here's a sampling of what my day has been like:

Dear Ann Landers: Regarding Anonymous Cashier's tips for customers, here are a few tips for cashiers:

1. Don't start scanning my merchandise until the customer ahead of me has moved. Allow me the courtesy of being in a position to watch the prices rung up as my merchandise is scanned.

2. Don't put my 3-pound head of cabbage in a plastic bag on top of my grapes. Pay attention to where you stuff the merchandise I'm paying for.

3. Pack all my refrigerator items together. I packed them on the conveyor belt that way so I can keep them together. They stay cool, and it helps when I get home to know everything has been refrigerated.

4. Learn how to count change. Don't count it as you remove it from the register drawer, and then shove it into my hand along with the sales slip. I can't count the change if you only count it to yourself.

5. Please acknowledge my existence when you scan and sack my purchase. Don't visit with an off-duty cashier or another customer and ignore me.

6. Finally, pay me the courtesy of saying hello. I paid you the courtesy of shopping at your store.

-- Little Rock, Ark.
Dear Little Rock: Your letter could have come from Anywhere, USA, or Canada. The complaints are universal.
Problems? Dump on Ann. Write her at The Buffalo News, P.O. Box 100, Buffalo, N.Y. 14240.

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