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HE'S FOREVER THE GIRL'S FATHER

Dear Ann Landers: Please reconsider your response to "In Limbo in Florida." He had an 11-year-old daughter, and refused to let his ex-wife take the girl out of the country when her new husband had a job offer overseas. Because of this, her second marriage broke up. Now, "In Limbo" thinks the child may not be his after all. You said he should get a DNA test to find out.

Based on the mischief this man has already done by preventing his former wife and daughter from relocating, what kind of reaction do you think he would have if he found out the child was not really his biological daughter? How would knowing this information give him any peace?

I am the former chair of the American Bar Association -- Family Law Section, and in my 25 years of practice, I have handled close to 15,000 custody cases. DNA testing should not be permitted on children over 6 months of age. This man is her father, whether or not he is biologically related. The definition of "father" encompasses far more than just contributing the "seed." The Uniform Laws Commission has indicated that DNA testing to determine parentage should never be performed on children over 2 years of age. The name on the birth certificate, the man who has burped and diapered the child, is the father.

-- Lynne Z. Gold-Bikin, Norristown, Pa.
Dear Lynne Gold-Bikin: As a person who has practiced family law for years, you are well qualified to offer an opinion. Thank you for your legal expertise, as well as your reasoning that comes from a kind heart.

Dump the roommate

Dear Ann Landers: I am having a horrible time with my college roommate. "Darlene" is loud and obnoxious, and entertains friends in our room constantly. I can deal with that, but the real problem is she brings alcohol into our room on a regular basis. This is against campus policy, not to mention she is underage. I reported her to the campus police. She was given a warning.

Darlene has been very cool to me and is determined to make my life a living hell because I reported her. I am a junior and just turned 21. This means if alcohol is found in my room, I could have charges brought against me. That would destroy my dreams of a career in education. Is there anything I can do to repair our friendship?

-- Miss X.Y.Z.
Dear Miss X.Y.Z.: Why would you want to repair the friendship? Darlene sounds like bad news. I suggest that you ask for a change in roommates for next semester and establish other friendships that are less hazardous to your health.

Shy guy

Dear Ann Landers: I hope you can help me with a delicate problem. My husband has confided that a close friend of his has difficulty when using a public bathroom. He simply cannot urinate in front of others.

This man has seen a urologist and was told that there is nothing physically wrong with him. Apparently, he has had this problem since he was a teenager. Does he need to see a psychiatrist? Please tell us how we can help him.

-- East Coast Friend
Dear East Coast Friend: The "problem" is not as unusual as your friend seems to think. He could be helped by counseling. Tell your husband to encourage him to make an appointment with a therapist.

Problems? Dump on Ann. Write her at The Buffalo News, P.O. Box 100, Buffalo, N.Y. 14240.

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