1. When you live in Buffalo and your passion is golf, right about now is when the snow starts getting to you and you haven't played and YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Relax, Tiger Woods.
Saturday, get to "Birdies on the Boulevard," an 18-hole mini-golf outing set amid the rolling splendor of the Boulevard Mall, sponsored by the Mental Health Association and WYJE radio.
From 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., parents and kids can come in for a round o' mini-golf as long as they register first by calling 886-1242 and promise to wear ludicrous apple-green corduroy knickers with little golf balls all over them. We joke, of course.
But do register, now. The cost is $25 for a group of four, $7 for an individual and $5 for kids and seniors. All proceeds benefit the MHA.
2. Were you terrified by the notion that "Cats" really might be "now and forever"?
Have we got a show for you.
"Forbidden Broadway Cleans Up Its Act!," a New York City legend since the early '80s, has added even more shows to the already long list of musicals it brutally mocks and leaves lying on the floor.
"The Lion King," "Miss Saigon," "Les Mis" - even our beloved "The Sound of Music"! - get a drubbing at the Performing Arts Center at Rockwell Hall, Buffalo State College.
Saturday and Sunday performances are 8 p.m. Tickets are $20-$28. Call 878-3005. Go and laugh your Sondheim-loving socks off.
3. Road trip. Teddy Bears.
If you have toddlers who won't sleep except in the car, do this: plop them in that safety seat. Head towards Rochester. Ninety minutes later, the wee ones will awake rested and gaping at the Teddy Bear Festival, which runs Saturday from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. and Sunday from noon to 5 p.m. at the Strong Museum.
Campfire-style performances, teddy-bear games, stories and more - plus a Teddy Doctor to repair much-loved bear's split seams and popping eyes.
Admission is $6 for adults, $5 for seniors and students with ID. Children 3-17 - and their bears - are free. Call 263-2493 for directions.
4. Shorter road trip. Choo choo trains!
Not in the mood for the Thruway all the way to Rochester? How's Hamburg grab you?
The train-loving folks at the Western New York Railway Historical Society present their annual Train and Toy Show and Sale! Toy trains! Railroad-iana! (It is too a real word. They use it.) Collectibles! Models! The spirit of Boxcar Willie hovering overhead, beaming through his tobacco juice!
OK. Can't verify that. But take the kids. Saturday and Sunday, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., at the International Agri-Center at the county fairgrounds on South Park Avenue.
Free parking, $5 for adults, $3 for kids under 12.
5. This Sunday marks Thomas Edison's birthday, which of course you knew because you are so very bright. Get it? Light bulb? Bright?
Anyway, why not make your family brighter - or at least broaden your horizons - by attending a talk given by a local descendant of Mary Talbert, a prominent African-American woman and anti-lynching activist in Buffalo at the turn of the century.
Jean Stachelski will speak about her great-great-aunt Mary Talbert and her activism at "Tea and Talk" at the Buffalo and Erie County Historical Society from 1 to 3 p.m.
Light refreshments will be served. Register by calling Kathleen at 873-9644, ext. 319.
The cost is $20 for society members, $22 for non-members.