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Dear Ann Landers: So you think "Dying Inside in the Midwest" needs anti-depressants? That advice didn't sound like you, Ann. The woman has been working throughout her entire marriage. She's exhausted and wants to quit. She is just like every other working mother in America -- worn out.

Marriages today are business partnerships with sex. I was fortunate to be able to stay home when my children were young. I would not trade a single day of those years for any amount of money. I deeply regret that I was not at home when my children were teen-agers. I am sure we could have handled many problems better had I been there to nip them in the bud.

My mother was a registered nurse and an officer during World War II. She never worked outside the home after she married. My father adored her. In the lean years, even if there was only oatmeal for supper, there was a clean tablecloth and cloth napkins on our laps. And what do I do? I go to meetings and take business trips. I have business lunches and business breakfasts and sometimes business dinners. I spend eight to 10 hours a day in the office, and use my vacation days for family emergencies. I haven't read a book just for fun in five years. There's never enough time for my kids, and I'm not alone. All of the working women I know will tell you the same story. Is there a way out?

-- Trapped by Success
Dear Trapped: There is a way out, but it means giving up something -- a salary increase, a promotion, maybe the job itself. It is obvious that some women are paying too high a price for success. They should ask themselves, is it worth it? Your letter suggests it is not. Take a deep breath, review the options, and then do something about it.

Spoiling the ballet

Dear Ann Landers: I have had season tickets to the ballet ever since I was 5 years old. As a child, I was always well-behaved when I attended performances and never a problem to my mother or anyone else.

Recently, a young child and her mother have been seated directly in front of me. This little girl cannot sit still. She often stands up in her seat, and every 10 seconds, the music is drowned out by her whining, "Mommy, I'm bored!" or "Mommy, what happened?" The mother ignores her questions and makes no attempt to quiet the child.

While I believe it is wonderful for children to see the ballet and opera, it is not OK to allow a child to ruin the experience for others. I hate to sound like a grouch, but that youngster is wrecking an event I used to love. Is there a solution to this dilemma? If so, please tell me what I can do about it.

-- At My Wits' End in Atlanta
Dear Atlanta: You can tell the child's mother that her youngster is making it difficult for you to enjoy the performance, and that you hope she will see to it that the girl remains in her seat and keeps quiet. If your comment does not get the desired results, take your complaint to the box office and ask for another seat.

Who's on the job?

Dear Readers: Because today is Labor Day, I thought the following essay would be appropriate.
What Went Wrong

This is the story of four working people: Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done, and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Somebody would do it. But Nobody asked Anybody. It ended up that the job wasn't done, and Everybody blamed Somebody, when actually, Nobody asked Anybody.

Problems? Dump on Ann. Write her at The Buffalo News, P.O. Box 100, Buffalo, N.Y. 14240.

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