So you say you're about to run out and restock those chocolates for the goblins who'll appear at your door tonight? To replace the goodies you've been gobbling all week.
Bad mistake, says diet and exercise dean Richard Simmons, whose new book, "Farewell to Fat," features a prominent mention of Buffalo's Anchor Bar. Simmons himself, who is about to go to medical school, does his Buffalo wings low-fat style.
And for a happy Halloween? In an interview where he sobs and shrieks, Simmons suggests giving out pennies, which he does. If you don't, you might be sweating to the oldies by Thanksgiving.
A shiny penny? Ooh, Richard, that's cold. I did that one year and no kids came back!
They love it. Just tell them it's a lucky one, and make sure it's heads-up.
Because I'm a compulsive eater, there are a few things I can't keep in the house, like Kit Kat bars, anything miniature, because it's like -- Honey, I shrunk the Halloween candy! I can't keep those small, little bars. My trigger foods are sweets, or a box of chocolates. Oh, I sound like Forrest Gump.
People don't know that three of those little bars equal one big bar. I know people who start buying Halloween candy like in July, and it's a time when the food frenzy starts. The average woman is going to gain eight to 10 pounds by Jan. 1.
You know, we're always going to eat candy, but teach your children about candy and what it's made of and what it does to your body. Some people may find that rather preachy, but I think with the number of obese children and obese teen-agers, we need more education.
Tell us about your visit to the Anchor Bar.
My thighs begin to quiver when I go there. I talked to Dominic, and actually made my wings in the oven. But they're spicy, and I do serve them with a fat-free blue cheese and celery. So it's pretty equivalent.
Is it true you live with women?
I live with a lady named Theresa (not from the Anchor Bar), who's my housekeeper, and we make food, and we freeze part of it. I also live with my four Dalmatians -- Hattie, Dolly, Ashley and Melanie.
Don't lie now -- have you ever been to Dairy Queen?
I've been to McDonald's and Burger King. My lips! I'm spitting on the side of my lips! Once in a while it's good to go in there, have a hamburger -- and God bless you. But it can't be your mainstay, it can't be your lifestyle.