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HUMAN RESOURCE managers were surveyed by Challenger, Gray and Christmas Inc., an international outplacement firm, on which of the two presidential candidates they would hire, not for the oval office, but for chief executive officer of their companies.

President Clinton would be hired by 47 percent, compared to 25 percent for Bob Dole. Another 28 percent declined to say whom they would hire without going through the interview process.

When asked to pick the color that best describes the mood in the workplace today -- bright yellow, beige or blue -- 56 percent said beige; 25 percent said bright yellow, and 13 percent said blue. For some reason, 100 percent of those favoring Dole picked beige.

How about snapping turtle?

SO, WHAT animal does your boss most resemble? According to a recent survey by Prudential Security, three in 10 U.S. workers think their boss looks like a fox.

Other popular boss-animal matches are the owl and teddy bear, with 20 percent of workers choosing each of those animal look-alikes.

The battle outside is ragin'

THE TIMES indeed have changed, making a lot of folks in Toronto mad at Bob Dylan.

The Bank of Montreal is using Dylan's 1964 protest anthem, "The Times They Are A-Changin' " as the theme in a marketing campaign. People who came of age in the '60s are angry.

"The real villain is Bob Dylan, who traded in a generation's memories when he allowed the song to be used as an advertising jingle, probably for a tidy profit," said Patricia Woodhatch, in a letter to the editor in the Toronto Globe and Mail.

Voice mail beats e-mail

IF YOU WANT a fast response, speak, don't type.

According to a recent survey conducted for OfficeTeam, the nation's leading temporary office staff agency, 62 percent of managers said they check and return their voice mail before they log-on to read their e-mail. Only 36 percent said they scan e-mail first.

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