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TOAST THE BILLS IN SONG AND VERSE

Whom do you call when your bills are overdue?

A collection agency, and the Bills are definitely overdue.

The marketing blizzard has begun, as it does every year at this time providing the Buffalo Bills are winning. This season the newest entry in the Super Bowl song sweepstakes is "The Collection Agency."

(Overdue bills, get it?) Marv Twichell, Jim Swinarski and Denny Merlino, the song's creators, would like their lyrics to replace "Shout," the current stadium stomper.

Theirs is a blues number, complete with electric guitar wail. Singing the blues for a blue-collar city, understand? Only one thing. Twichell and friends would like the Bills themselves to perform and record their song. Maybe Bruce Smith or Cornelius Bennett on background vocals with Howard Ballard hitting those high notes.

What motivates three men to buy a case of beer and squirrel up in a spare bedroom with an eight-track recorder? (And no, we are not referring to the players.) "We're just three guys who enjoy the Bills and thought they needed a new song," Swinarski says. "We're not looking for money." Could you please repeat that?

On a related topic, Custom Edge of Cleveland knows the true meaning of Christmas. The company has introduced a Bills line of Christmas cards, a box of 12 selling for $9.95. The cards are available at: Stamps-N-Stuff in Clarence, Sidney's in Dunkirk, Quote & Quill in Lewiston, AM&As Main Street and Vix in Kenmore. They also may be ordered by calling (216) 661-9291. There is a $2 handling charge per order.

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