THINGS I'VE seen or heard enough of lately:
Delta Burke crying. Seeing the star of CBS' "Designing Women" cry on a Barbara Walters special was enough, but then she and her husband, Gerald McRaney, had to go on Arsenio Hall's show, too. Once "Designing Women" goes off the air, a producer would have to have masochist tendencies to hire her.
College basketball games on cable. Hey, I'm a big hoop fan, but when you can't turn on your set without bumping into a game, something is wrong. This also can't help attendance at Little Three games.
Sheryl Lee dying on "Twin Peaks." After being killed first playing Laura Palmer and later playing Madeleine Ferguson, you wonder if Lee has gone into therapy.
Paid programming. Channels 2, 4 and 7 may be raking the money in now, but the stations are losing their identity. To kids watching, they often look like cable channels. And today's kids are tomorrow's viewers.
"Monday Night Football" promos. During the Bills-Oilers game last Monday, we must have been told 10 times that the San Francisco 49ers were going to play the New York Giants "next Monday" in "an almost perfect" matchup. Can't ABC make better use of its time? You would have had to live in a cave not to know about that game.
ABC commentator Dan Dierdorf saying, "That's a fumble," after looking at an inconclusive, slow-motion replay.
"Coach" promos during halftime of "Monday Night Football." They were a cute idea at the start of the season, but enough already. The apology to Buffalo last Monday just wasn't funny.
Dick Vitale college basketball promos. The first time they ran the promo in which Vitale was locked inside a cage talking a mile a minute, it was laugh-out-loud funny. By the fifth time it ran, ABC was guilty of overkill.
John Madden hardware advertisements.
Pat Summerall hardware advertisements. Let's hope Madden and Summerall didn't do any more of them on their Sunday off when they should have been here for the Bills-Philadelphia game.
Chris Berman's promotion of Bud Bowl III.
Stories on Jane Pauley. Even she is sick of them. It is hard to believe that anyone would criticize Pauley for giving up her seat to Deborah Norville on "The Today Show." She was able to get exactly what she wanted -- more publicity, more money, better hours. She should be praised for being smart enough to play a situation perfectly.
Stories on Roseanne Barr. If we sent her to the Persian Gulf, Saddam Hussein would probably come out with his hands up.
Press releases telling me that some television show or radio show is being sent to the Persian Gulf. Whatever happened to doing something without expecting credit for it?
Listening to WGR sports reporter Jeff Morrison. With a voice like that, he's in the wrong business.
WGR promos that tell listeners that they can "Depend on It." You can depend on hearing them about 10 times every Bills game.
Television reports claiming that Bob Rich Jr. has put in a bid to buy the Montreal Expos.
Television reports denying that Bob Rich Jr. has put in a bid to buy the Montreal Expos. After one station says he has, another follows and says he hasn't, because Bob and Mindy deny it. You expect them to confirm it? This is a boy-crying-wolf story. If it ever really happens, no one will believe it.
Oil companies advising consumers to conserve energy and beer companies advising consumers to drink in moderation. You know they aren't sincere.
Mr. Food. I swore him off the day Channel 7's Keith Radford and Kathleen Leighton got up from their anchor seats to join him in a segment. This is news?
Lisa Olson story. The day Great Britain named a new prime minister, Channel 7 led its 5 p.m. newscast with the Olson story.
Those love 'em or hate 'em beer commercials which feature a thirtysomething couple flirting with each other. They're enough to make me swear off beer.
All the commercials during Bills games. No, not the ones on TV. The ones they play over the loudspeaker in Rich Stadium. Except the taco commercial, of course.
Channel 2 promoting itself as a 24-hour news station when it is more concerned with features than news.
Cable rate increases.
Mediocre cable movies, which are partially responsible for the cable rate increases.
Paul Maguire's bashing of any reporter who doesn't totally buy the arguments of Bills management.
Local sweeps series that are so flimsy you have to wonder if the reporters were given more than a few days to do them.
Sportscasters holding the score of Sabres games hostage by telling viewers early in late newscasts that they will tell viewers who won later. That's the quickest way to get a sports fan to switch to ESPN.